This was the question:
I’ve gotten bullied my whole life even at times as an adult. I try to ignore people such as co workers and such but it’s not easy at all. How were you able to develop such a thick skin? Any advice?
And Clay’s wonderful answer:
As unbelievably hard as it is to do, I just learned to ignore. I don’t think that the term “thick-skin” really applies to me.
If I pay attention to negativity, it still hurts my feelings. I don’t think anyone is impervious to that type of pain. Therefore, I found the best way to deal with it is to ignore it.
There has NEVER been a case that I have EVER seen where bullying is not a DIRECT result of the insecurities of the bully themselves.
People who are happy with themselves don’t have any reason to spend their time cutting down other people. In almost EVERY situation, I have found that when someone is mean to someone else because of a trait they don’t care for it is because they have insecurities about themselves and want to make others feel bad for the rush of superiority it gives them. When you let that person affect your attitude in anyway, it gives them dominion over you…which is exactly what they want.
Ignoring is hard…REALLY hard, but one of three things will happen as a result of ignoring those who are nasty to you.
- They will see that they no longer affect you and they will stop.
- Others will see that they no longer affects you, and they will stop encouraging the bullying…or…and most powerfully…
- You’re ignoring will allow you to spend your time focusing on things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself, and you honestly won’t even notice the haters anymore.
Trust me…it works!!
The title of this article should be all that needs to be said. It’s a good reminder to every fan that when you write something negative on a public webpage it has the potential to hurt feelings. My philosophy is “never write something on the web that you wouldn’t say to a person face to face!”